i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
