just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
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My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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