we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
this will be a night to untag.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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