I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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