Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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