actually, I'm a sock model
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
