Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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