I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
