it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
