You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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