mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Please, let me fuck your mom
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
