why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
