An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
