we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Panties = found
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
