The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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