Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
