school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
