The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
