at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
