I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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