Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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