Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
