yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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