im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
