It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
