last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
