I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
