i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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