I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Your cock deserves a montage
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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