Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
