There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
