; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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