this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
