Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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