i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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