There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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