The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
should my penis look like a turkey
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize