how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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