now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
