I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
