Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize