**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
