I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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