Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
