Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize