I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So here I am, sexting at work.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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