dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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