i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.