my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
this is an emotional support booty call