ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
