the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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