Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
