Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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