Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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