I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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