hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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