omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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