if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
