East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
