then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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