I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
