So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
