"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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